from lemons to lemonade

Poetry Assignment 2

2009-06-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

OVERWHELMED

This feeling of suffocation
Presses down on me.
I stuff it in,
Making room for more.
How can I contain it?
What happens when I can no longer breathe?

So...............................

I close my eyes and dream
That I am a red balloon,
Taking in air until I burst,
And the feeling of suffocation
Begins once more.

by Maureen Jackson

Poetry Assisgnment

2009-06-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

A Community I Knew Well

Walking everywhere we went,
School and church around the corner,
The beach nearby.
Playing on the street 'til dark,
Running errands for your mother.

The streets become empty at dusk.
Children play,
Supervised in their yards.
Safety in numbers.
Trips to the beach in cars.
Gone are the carefree days,
Innocence replaced with fear.

by Maureen Jackson

Kate Chopin's Views on Marraige

2009-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

Kate Chopin is brilliant in her writing. Her views are like a single thread woven into a large tapestry. The message is there, but you need to look deeper into the story to find it.

In her story The Storm, and The Story of an Hour, there are implied attitudes on her views towards marriage.

In her story The Story of an Hour, Mrs. Mallard finds joy in freedom in the news of her husband's death. When she realizes he is alive she dies a sudden death. The publisher probably saw the story as a lesson to be learned for Mrs. Mallard's selfish attitude. When we look deeper into the story, we see that Mrs. Mallard's death was a freedom. She felt that marriage was a crime, whether it be a kind or cruel intention, of one human being imposing their will upon another. She already felt dead. The day before she learns of her husband's supposed death she had shuddered to think that her life may be long. Kate Chopin states that Mrs. Mallard loved her husband: sometimes.

In Kate Chopin's story The Storm, Calixta cheats on her husband while he and their son wait out a storm in town. The man she cheats with was a boyfriend she had before her marriage to Bobinot. When her husband and son return from town Calixta greets them with good humor and acts as if nothing out of the ordinary happened while they were gone.

Calixta's lover writes to his wife who is away visiting friends that she need not hurry back, that he was fine, and could bear the separation a while longer. He solitiously tells her that the health of Clarisse and the babies comes first. Clarisse is charmed by his letter; however, she relishes her "first free breath" since marriage. Kate Chopin states that although Clarisse was devoted to her husband, she was more than willing to forego their intimacy for a while.

The implied attitudes towards marriage are similar in both stories. The word free is used by Mrs. Mallard. She says, "free, free, free, body and soul free", when she finds out her husband dies. Clarisse uses the word free referring to a break from her marriage. Calixta's hour of infidelity gives her a sense of freedom from the confinement of her marriage which is implied in her attitude upon her husband's return.

Kate's views on marriage are implied in her stories because her her views were not widely accepted in the 1890's. If she had verbalized her views outright, none of her stories would have been published in her time.

Armand's Secret

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

In the final paragraph of Kate Chopin's story Desiree's Baby, Armand finds part of a letter from his mother that was written to his father. In the letter Armand's mother states that she is grateful to God that her son will never know that the mother who loves him was branded by the curse of slavery.

At the age of eight, Armand and his father return to Louisianna from Paris after his mother's death. His father owns a plantation with slaves. In the story Kate Chopin makes reference to the fact that Armand's father was easy going and indulgent with the slaves; but that after his father's death Armand's rule was strict and the Negroes forgot how to be gay.

When Armand marries Desiree -a woman with no name - they have a baby boy. At first Armand is happy, always with a smile on his handsome face, and he is kinder to his slaves. When their child is three months old, Armand realizes that his son is not white. "The very spirit of Satan seemed to take hold of him in his dealings with the slaves." Armand banishes Desiree from their home, blaming her for being "not white." After Desiree takes the baby and vanishes into the bayou, never to be seen again, Armand makes the slaves burn all of Desiree's and the baby's things in front of him. It is then that he finds his mother's letter.

I believe that Armand sensed that it is he who was not white. At the age of eight he would have had some memories of his mother. His cruelty towards the slaves may have been sparked by his anger at having the blood "of a race cursed by the brand of slavery." He gives the slaves a reprieve from his anger when his son is first born; but when he discovers that his son is not white, his fears are realized, and he takes his anger out on the slaves. To save face he blames Desiree -a woman with no name, no known heritage- by telling her it is she who is not white. Perhaps the fact that she has no past is why he chooses her in the first place.

A Writer's Comments on "Desiree's Baby"

2009-06-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

In Kate Chopin's story Desiree's Baby, Desiree is a girl without a name. When she is toddler age, she is found by a couple who takes her in and loves her as though she is their own child. Eighteen years later, Armand Aubigny falls in love with her. Desiree loves him desperately, as if he were a god.
One senses from reading the story that Desiree's love stems from the fact that he loves her. She is a woman without a name - and while she loves the people who have raised her - Armand can give her what she longs for. He gives her a name, a family of her own, and a home. She may see Armand as her rescuer.
Even when Armand's temper flairs, and he beats his slaves, Desiree trembles, but still loves him. When Armand smiles, she "asked no greater blessing of God." Perhaps she fears invoking Armand's wrath, sensing that he could just as easily hate her as love her. Desiree is dependent on Armand's love for security and in order to feel complete. She has already been rejected or abandoned once; would her heart survive another rejection?
Ironically, Armand does cease to love her when he discovers that their child is not white. He hates Desiree for "the unconscious injury she had brought upon his home and his name."
Armand tell her to leave and she takes the baby and disappears into the bayou, never to return.
By putting all of her hopes, her trust, and her love into Armand, she made him into a god. A god who had the power to give when pleased, and the power to take away when the one who worshipped him displeased.

Sequel to "Ripe Figs"

2009-05-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

Summer was at an end and Babette was longing for some company. She remembered that Maman-Nainaine has promised her a trip to the Toussaint to see Tante Frosine when the chrysanthemums were in bloom.

Daily she strolled in the garden, tending to the dark green plants and looking for signs of bloom. Sighing, she came away disappointed. She felt the restlessness come upon her and she pondered Maman-Nainaine's patience. Perhaps, she thought, patience was learned over time, like the changing of the season's took time.

Time seemed to pass slowly, but one morning -much to her surprise and delight - orange blooms covered the garden. Babette thought that the beauty of the flowers was well worth waiting for.

The next morning -when Maman-Nainaine came down to breakfast in her usual stately way- Babette presented her with a porcelin vase full of chrysanthemum blooms. "Ah," said Maman, " "I see that the chrysanthemums have bloomed early this year." "Oh," said Babette, "I think so too."

"Babette,"said Maman, "we shall leave for Toussaint within the week." 'But the next visit shall be from your cousins and Tante Frosine when the holly is in bloom."

Wandering

2009-05-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

When I first read Dominique Browning's editorial Wandering, my first reaction was to ask myself why anyone would choose to be homeless.
As I read the editorial a second time, I realized that home can be a state of mind. We are at home in what we are doing, or where we are at the present time.
According to Webster's Dictionary the words "at home" means, "relaxed and comfortable", "at ease","in harmony with the surroundings", "on familiar ground", and "knowledgeable".
The dove mentioned in the first paragraph of the editorial made her home in the trellis on his balcony. This is probably where the dove felt safe and secure at the time. Next nesting season she may choose a new location that makes her feel the same way.
The wanderer in the story was at home in his wandering, doing good deeds for others in every place he went. He was at home in his wandering. But in the end the wanderer confesses to having a warehouse full of things he collected from every place he was. Even he had thoughts of putting down roots someday.
In conclusion, my thought is, that even though home may be where the heart is, we all dream of making a permanent home.

What's In A Name?

2009-05-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what your name means, or the origin? I recently looked up the meaning of my name and discovered that it is actually French in origin, not Irish like I was told. My name does, however, appear under Gaelic and Hebrew.
My name is Maureen and it means "dark" in both French and Gaelic. It means "uncertain, bitter" in Hebrew. This meaning could apply to anyone. We all have dark moods, or feel uncertain or bitter at times.
I decided to look up the meanings of my children's names to see if the meanings of their names suited them. It was interesting to note that their names are also Gaelic or Hebrew in origin. Sharon is Hebrew for "The Plains." In the bible it is referred to as "The rose of Sharon." Sharon must have been a place and the rose was possibly the one thing of beauty among the plains. Doesn't every parent feel that their daughter is a rose?
The name Bryan is Gaelic in origin and means "noble, strong." This meaning also could apply to many people. I do, however, feel that my son is noble in character. He has also had to be strong in times of trouble.
The name Evan is originally Hebrew in origin and there is a Gaelic meaning listed also. The Hebrew meaning is "God is gracious," and "fair." The Gaelic meaning is "swift." God was gracious to give me a son that I did not plan on. He is also fair complected. But again, this could apply to many people.
It was interesting to learn the origins and meanings of my family's names, but I don't believe that one name or another is particularly suited to a person. I feel that no matter what name I had given my children, the meaning would have applied.

Our Fine Feathered Friends

2009-05-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

I have always admired birds. Even as a child I was envious of the way birds could soar, and wondered what it would be like to have that kind of freedom. I used to swing as high as I could on the swingset and feel a sense of joy and freedom. I liked to think that I was experiencing what a bird feels in flight.
Every morning I like to sit outside on my deck and watch the birds. I put several bird feeders in my yard as well as four birdhouses. Pretty soon I noticed a variety of birds in my yard. In my observations I have noticed that the majority of species get along well with each other. They share the food, and more than one species will sit on a birdfeeder together.
I have watched the comings and goings of male and female partners building their nest together, taking turns sitting on the eggs, or the male bird feeding the female bird while she is sitting on the nest. I have witnessed the male and female raising their young together. They even encourage their little ones to take flight when it is time to leave the nest. Then they teach their offspring how to hunt for food and other survival skills. birds.
We could all take a lesson from birds. Male and female stay together, raise their childern together, and are kind to each other. If we all behaved this way our world would be a nicer place to live in.

Spring Garden

2009-05-28T20:16:00.000-07:00

Every Spring I daydream about planting a vegetable garden. I think about all of the things that could go wrong. The hungry squirrels, rabbits, and birds in my yard might eat the plants and produce. I may be too busy-with work and household chores-to tend to the garden. I decided that this year, I would start a miniature garden on my deck.
I purchased a cherry tomato plant, two pepper plants, and a bag of potting soil. My deck gets an equal amount of sun and shade throughout the day; so I placed the potted plants where they would benefit from this. On the days that it didn't rain, I watered the plants.
The pepper plants died, but the tomato plant is thriving. Everyday it seems to have grown an inch or two. This could be due to the recent week of rain.
Yesterday I noticed that the tomato plant was covered in yellow blossoms. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong, and I will have plenty of cherry tomatoes to eat and share with my family.
I have decided to plant a miniature garden on my deck every spring. There is less work and worry involved this way.

Two Day Business Trip

2008-11-12T09:23:00.001-08:00

I was recently very lucky to be able to go on a business trip to Melbourne on Monday and Tuesday. I say lucky because I got to see my Beautiful sister and her two Beautiful daughters Monday evening after working hours. We went out to dinner and "hung out for a while" catching up. I want to say how proud I am of my sister. No matter what her trials she always tries to maintain a positive outlook on life. And she endures a lot. She and her cute boyfriend are so cute together, and they stand firm together despite the many outside trials and tribulations they have had to endure. So rock on Karen!! You put so many of us to shame.

Major Events of Unfulfilled Prophecy

2008-11-01T08:27:00.001-07:00

1. Rapture of the church (1 cor. 15:51-58; 1 Thes. 4:13-18)
2. Revival of the Roman Empire; ten-nation confederacy formed (Dan 7:7, 24, Rev 13:1; 17:3, 12-13
3. rise of the anti-christ: the Middle East dictator (Dan. 7:8; Rev 13:1-8)
4. the seven-year peace treaty with Israel: consummated seven years before the second coming of Christ (Dan 9:27; Rev. 19:11-16)
5. establishment of a world church (Rev. 17:1-15)
6. Russia springs a surprise attack on Israel four years before the second coming of Christ (Ezek. 38-39)
7. Peace treaty with Israel broken after three and a half years: beginning of world government, world economic system, world atheistic religion, final three and a half years before the second coming of Christ (Dan. 7:23; Rev. 13 5-8, 15-17; 17:16-17)
8. Many Christians and Jews martyred who refused to worship the world dictator (Rev. 79-17; 13:15
9. Catastrophic divine judgements represented by seals, trumpets, and bowls poured out on the earth (Rev. 6-18)
10. World war breaks out focusing on the middle east: Battle of Armageddon (Dan. 11:40-45; Rev 9:13-21; 16:12-16)
11. babylon destroyed (Rev 18)
12. Second coming of Christ (Matt. 24:27-31; Rev. 19:11-21)
13. Judgement of wicked Jews and Gentiles (Ezekial. 20:33-38; Matt. 25:31-46; Jude 14-15; Rev. 19:15-21; 20:1-4)
14. satan bound for 1,000 years (Rev 20:1-3)
15. Resurrection of Tribulation saints and old Testament saints (Dan. 12:2; Rev. 20:4)
16. Millennial kingdom begins (Rev. 20:5-6)
17. Final rebellion at the end of the Millennium (Rev. 20:7-10)
18. Resurrection and final judgment of the wicked: Great White Throne Judgment (Rev 20:11-15)
19. Eternity begins: new heaven, new earth, New Jerusalem (Rev. 21:1-2)
John F. Walvoord (Every Prophecy of the Bible)

End Times

2008-10-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

As I listen more and more to the world events going on I become more and more convinced that we are truly living in the end times leading up to the Rapture of God's church. I realize that it is a sore subject for many and that I will recieve opposition for my views but the facts cannot be denied. I was fearful and unsure of what the bible was actually saying so I started reading the book called "Every Prophecy of the Bible" by John F. Walvoord. He is one of the preeminent Bible prophecy scholars of the world today and his explanations are based soley on the literal not the symbolic words of the bible. Thank God for people who are smart enough to research history and have their facts straight. I wish to share something that convinces me that we are living in the times right before the Rapture. The bible states that there will be 1. a rise in liberalism and rejection of fundamental biblical doctrines. 2. The rise of communism and atheism as major opponents of Christianity. 3. The ecumenical movement promoting a world church organized in 1948. 4. Increased moral chaos resulting from departure from biblical doctrines. 5. The evidence of spiritism, the occult, and Satan worship. I will continue to study and research, but I do believe in my mind and heart that there has been a culmination of events predicted to occur before the Rapture of Christ's church and the end times.

my life

2008-08-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

I need to simplify my life too. I want to be able to come and go as I please, have friends, hang out with friends and family without being made to feel as if I'm doing something wrong. Or being called to bed if I'm outside talking w/ my son and his girlfriend. Or someone suddenly up my butt when the phone rings and they want to hear and comment on my conversation. Or being made to feel as if I'm a bad person just because I'm going to a bar w/ friends to have a drink and listen to drunks sing Karioke. I am doing nothing wrong, and I have nothing to hide, and yet I'm made to feel as if I am doing something wrong. So what if I like doing things for my kids and grandkids, and so what if I choose to spend all my free time w/ them and a friend if I so choose? It's my life and I should be able to do what makes me happy. Don't people realize that words wound deep? I can't just ignore mean words and actions and still act as if I'm in love when the person I'm with doesn't act like they love me when they want to control me and change me. You watch, he'll call my cell phone and beep me all night while I'm out.

Identity Theft and scam artists

2008-07-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

I wrote a check last week that was telechecked immediately. It was denied due to a history of insufficient funds. WHAT!!!!! So I called the number on the printout and seems my social security number has been used by someone who had an account w/ Alcorn Bank, who wrote checks on insufficient funds. So now I, who has little time in her life as it is, who isn't even the guilty party, must go about proving that I am who I say I am, and getting my name off the black list. I have a sinking feeling that it is going to be more difficult than it seems and that maybe the problem will never actually be solved.
And on another note, I am so sick of getting e-mail from scam artists claiming to have money tied up over seas, that they can't get for whatever reason and ask you to help them by using your money, to get their money and offering you a cut. Luckily I happen to be smarter than that and luckily for those who aren't the news media is all over this like white on rice. Sometimes I write nasty letters back for the fun of it, mostly I mark it as spam.
I also must bring my birth certificate to the social security office to prove my birthdate is April 9th, because someone typed in the 19th when I changed my last name on my wedding day.
One time I wrote a check for a thousand dollars and someone entered it as 100 dollars on their computer and the company cashed the check, but the computer showed I was in arrears in my payment. What a mess that was. I had to call the bank to fax over the cancelled check and proof that they recieved one thousand dollars. Then it sat on someone's desk untouched and I kept getting collection calls on it. I finally yelled at the guy and told him I wanted the problem taken care of because my credit was being ruined and they were not going to get my house foreclosed due to their error. I then threatened them w/ an attorney, and the head honcho told me that if I didn't calm down he would hang up on me and not address my problem at all. The nerve of him!!! I got the bank to re-fax the information right then and they fixed the problem immediately. Easy for him to say, he wasn't the one going through the problem.

shopping

2008-07-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

yesterday me, my stepdaughter and my son's girlfriend went shopping to get school clothes for my stepdaughter. we went thrift store shopping, and clearance sale shopping. We had breakfast and lunch out, and I only spent 152.oo for the whole thing. That included a shirt and 3 books for me, a shirt and a book for my son, 2pair of jeans, 5pr panties, one shirt for my son's girlfriend, and.......two pair jeans, one pair dress slacks, 5pr panties, 2 pack of socks, a bra, and ten shirts for my stepdaughter. It was fun! Then we went grocery shopping, and came home and cleaned the house and did laundry. I even got to pamper myself w/ a bath and shower. Needless to say I didn't get to bed until 1am but I got up at 11. Another work day, man oh man!!!

My sister

2008-07-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade! That is what my sister and I did. Even in childhood we took bad situations and managed to have some fun, a close relationship, survived due to each other. And we were kids and didn't realize we were doing it. If our life had been peaches and cream we wouldn't have been so close. I know this to be true because I overgave to my kids to compensate for my crappy childhood and only the youngest knows how to stand on his own two feet without mommy's help. Yeah, he's back home, but he's paying me rent. Maybe by the time you get to the last child you realize your mistakes and try harder. Although I did ride my middle child pretty hard there in his teen years. If I hadn't he would have ended up god knows where.
We may not have had many toys to play with when we were kids but by golly we loved and took care of the ones we had! We did have great imaginations though! And when we didn't play with toys anymore, we made up games to play in the woods. board games were reserved for when we were sick, and books were devoured weekly. Kids now a days don't know how to think for themselves, can't pass an fcat reading, because they sit in front of the boob tube watching mindless crap and playing violent video games.
So we weren't nurtured at all, but we did learn the skills necessary to survive!

children

2008-06-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. My youngest and his girlfriend moved back in, the oldest and the youngest are fighting, I still get called to smooth the waters, and to listen to tattle-tailing. And the oldest calls me at work to make sure I get her side of the story first. Work is still crazy, I fully expect phone calls this weekend (I'm off), because the wound care products aren't in, and they are going to run out.
At least I know I'm needed. Maybe that means I have great leadership skills.

2008-06-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

I'm jonesing.....BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thunderstorms

2008-06-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

It's thundering and lightening here, I woke up to it. No rain yet. Yesterday I had to take care of some internal thunderstorms in my family. Can't my kids get along? I should have sold that house when I had the chance. It's a wreck and now I find out that Sharon and her hubby are planning on finding a bigger house and sharing it with her husbands mom and kids. Big mistake!!!! And Evan and his girl want to leave there because of the arguing over chores and everything else. Now I'm stuck w/ two mortgages, a house that needs work because it's a wreck and unsellable in the condition it's in. The well quit working yesterday and it cost me and Bob money to fix it because Sharon and Randy are out of town for one and it's my house to fix. I let them rent it for what the mortgage is and for the taxes and insurance. No deposit was required. I don't bother them for the payment, I stay away 95% of the time and don't meddle, and now they are acting like I'm some kind of pia. Well maybe I'll let Evan have the house for what is owed on it. He would like that, he just needs to get his GED and a long-time family friend can help get him a job w/ the state starting out at $12 an hour, and Michelle needs a job too. Not that she isn't trying. She may get a job at lowe's. I'm not going to worry about it, I have faith that things will work out fine.
On a different note, 4days into this trying to quit smoking and everyday I've had one cigarette. Not bad considering I'd smoke 5 or 6 before work, 2 on the way to work, one or two during work, two on the way home and two more before I fell asleep. That's almost a whole pack a day. I cleaned my car inside and out yesterday, Not as much brown on the towels as I thought there would be. I washed the car seat covers too. Maybe the nicotine is on the ceiling of the car. Anyhow, this is my weekend to work, so I must go. lots of work to do!!!

no smoking

2008-06-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

Well I went 24hrs without a cigarette. Thank God for commit lozenge. I got up in the middle of the night as is my usual custom and was craving a cigarette like mad! I put a lozenge in my cheek and went back to sleep. It was still there when I got up this morning. On the way home from work last night I held a straw in my left hand to keep me busy. During work hours I didn't miss smoking at all.
I have to put gas in my car today. I dread it. Wasted money. I remember a vacation we took to PA when we were kids, gas was up to 89Cents a gallon for regular, lines were long and grandpa was fretting over the price then. He'd roll over in his grave if he could see the prices now!
I was going to clean out my car today, but I have to be to work early, IDT meeting and then I have to teach a patient's wife how to do his wound care because he is leaving on Saturday.

Worry

2008-06-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sort of tired, and I dread quitting smoking. Not that I don't want to quit, I dread what I have to go through to quit. I will keep busy, Like cleaning my car, digging up the cacti from my yard, crocheting....sucking on commit lozenges. A friend of mine gave me a book yesterday entitled "Women who worry too much", to the point of generalized anxiety disorder. Yep, that's me. I realize that a lot of what upsets me is on me, and others view me as some sort of crazy person. I have a tendency to zone in on someone who is a slacker, a liar and just altogher annoying and fret myself to death over it. Plus I worry about other things to the point that I don't sleep well, my muscles are tense all the time, and I get headaches. I guess I'll keep the jounal and do the exercises the book suggests and see what happens. If worry and anxiety are interfering w/ my ability to enjoy life then I need to learn how to quit worrying about things that are stupid to worry about.

bryan

2008-06-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

Poor Bryan!! He got 600ft up in the air and froze. He said he was screaming to get down and was bawling like a baby. they sent him home from St. Augustine via greyhound bus. He is so mortified. He really wanted to be able to do that job w/ what being unemployed and a baby on the way. Evan came to see me at work last night when my shift was over and we visited outside for a while. His girlfriend Michele was w/ him. Nice girl. My body aches all over. Once you hurt yourself and don't rest long enough it seems you hurt forever. I hope my sister is doing well at her new job. I think I may need a new one myself.

nursing

2008-06-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

Nursing is not what it used to be. It is now about the amount of bodies in the building filling the nursing hours. Don't get sick, don't get hurt, no one cares. The first thing you hear is how horrible you are for screwing up the hours, and how they now have to find someone to fill your shift. Also we are now live on computer, and you have exactly 2hrs to complete your med pass or you are in the red. So if your patient needs more than 4min of your time you and him are screwed. Assessments and nursing judgements will be cast aside all for a two hour time constraint. And what about if they fall or need to go to the hospital? What?! We step over them and say, "Sorry buddy, can you wait until I complete my med pass? I wish I could find something else to do that makes as much money but isn't so stressful. But I don't think it is possible.

children

2008-06-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

My middle child, the one who fought so hard, first against everything good, then fought to find his way, is leaving for a job that I never could imagine he would get. He is going to be way up in the air repairing cell phone towers, gone for two months at a time. His wife is pregnant and they are moving to Dade City, so I won't get to see the baby very often. sheila isn't going to be the type to let other people babysit. She'll be a good mother. Well here is to my son, may you do well in your new endevour, may God bless and protect you and keep you from harm. More about my other two later.

Life in general

2008-06-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure how I got this template, or even how to change it more to my liking. I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go along. I'm off work today and I want to get a few things done around the house but yet I just want to relax. I'm having a difficult time turning off work. I do wound care and I had a 6 year chronic ulcer almost healed w/ medihoney w/ ca alginate. I had a physicians order, the patients family's permission, and corporate said I couldn't use it because it wasn't on their formulary and it wasn't covered by insurance. So I got $200 worth of samples first and then they still wanted it stopped. The dressing comes from dermasciences, we used other products of theirs. But we got a new formulary and we can only use what is on their formulary. Money is somehow involoved. So we switched to hydroferra blue and her wound looks terrible. Maybe I can use calcium alginate only, that's on their formulary. I am wound care certified, I am positive my wound bed is clean, we have granulation tissue present in the wound bed, we just need the right dressing. Which I had until corporate stopped that.