Friday, August 1, 2008
my life
I need to simplify my life too. I want to be able to come and go as I please, have friends, hang out with friends and family without being made to feel as if I'm doing something wrong. Or being called to bed if I'm outside talking w/ my son and his girlfriend. Or someone suddenly up my butt when the phone rings and they want to hear and comment on my conversation. Or being made to feel as if I'm a bad person just because I'm going to a bar w/ friends to have a drink and listen to drunks sing Karioke. I am doing nothing wrong, and I have nothing to hide, and yet I'm made to feel as if I am doing something wrong. So what if I like doing things for my kids and grandkids, and so what if I choose to spend all my free time w/ them and a friend if I so choose? It's my life and I should be able to do what makes me happy. Don't people realize that words wound deep? I can't just ignore mean words and actions and still act as if I'm in love when the person I'm with doesn't act like they love me when they want to control me and change me. You watch, he'll call my cell phone and beep me all night while I'm out.
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4 comments:
You shouldn't be treated as a prisoner in a home you work your ass to the bone to pay for. I'm sorry about all of this, it is like looking at my life ten years ago. Yeah, I have money woes now, but at least I'm not under anyone's thumb. Freedom is worth any amount of money. I love you.
Sometimes it takes pointing out or proving to someone what an ass they are in front of others to turn things around. Of course he could be pretending for now to soothe troubled waters. I'm too old and weary for playing games. I'm just gonna do what I want from now on and tell myself that the way others act and feel is not my problem.
that is a very good plan, and the best advice you can give yourself. Good girl. And stop saying you are too old. Jeez.
Hey, Maur:
Check this blog out.
http://anniesrexia.blogspot.com/
She is an amazing person, and is struggling with this disease. If you could give her words of encouragement/advice, i'd appreciate it. she is VERY fragile.
I like her a lot, as the hex my ex blog was the first of her's I'd read, and she is a brilliant and gifted writer who is also funny as hell.
I love you, and admire you so much for battling your monster and keeping it at bay. maybe you can help her?
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