children

Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. My youngest and his girlfriend moved back in, the oldest and the youngest are fighting, I still get called to smooth the waters, and to listen to tattle-tailing. And the oldest calls me at work to make sure I get her side of the story first. Work is still crazy, I fully expect phone calls this weekend (I'm off), because the wound care products aren't in, and they are going to run out.
At least I know I'm needed. Maybe that means I have great leadership skills.

I'm jonesing.....BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thunderstorms

It's thundering and lightening here, I woke up to it. No rain yet. Yesterday I had to take care of some internal thunderstorms in my family. Can't my kids get along? I should have sold that house when I had the chance. It's a wreck and now I find out that Sharon and her hubby are planning on finding a bigger house and sharing it with her husbands mom and kids. Big mistake!!!! And Evan and his girl want to leave there because of the arguing over chores and everything else. Now I'm stuck w/ two mortgages, a house that needs work because it's a wreck and unsellable in the condition it's in. The well quit working yesterday and it cost me and Bob money to fix it because Sharon and Randy are out of town for one and it's my house to fix. I let them rent it for what the mortgage is and for the taxes and insurance. No deposit was required. I don't bother them for the payment, I stay away 95% of the time and don't meddle, and now they are acting like I'm some kind of pia. Well maybe I'll let Evan have the house for what is owed on it. He would like that, he just needs to get his GED and a long-time family friend can help get him a job w/ the state starting out at $12 an hour, and Michelle needs a job too. Not that she isn't trying. She may get a job at lowe's. I'm not going to worry about it, I have faith that things will work out fine.
On a different note, 4days into this trying to quit smoking and everyday I've had one cigarette. Not bad considering I'd smoke 5 or 6 before work, 2 on the way to work, one or two during work, two on the way home and two more before I fell asleep. That's almost a whole pack a day. I cleaned my car inside and out yesterday, Not as much brown on the towels as I thought there would be. I washed the car seat covers too. Maybe the nicotine is on the ceiling of the car. Anyhow, this is my weekend to work, so I must go. lots of work to do!!!

no smoking

Well I went 24hrs without a cigarette. Thank God for commit lozenge. I got up in the middle of the night as is my usual custom and was craving a cigarette like mad! I put a lozenge in my cheek and went back to sleep. It was still there when I got up this morning. On the way home from work last night I held a straw in my left hand to keep me busy. During work hours I didn't miss smoking at all.
I have to put gas in my car today. I dread it. Wasted money. I remember a vacation we took to PA when we were kids, gas was up to 89Cents a gallon for regular, lines were long and grandpa was fretting over the price then. He'd roll over in his grave if he could see the prices now!
I was going to clean out my car today, but I have to be to work early, IDT meeting and then I have to teach a patient's wife how to do his wound care because he is leaving on Saturday.

Worry

Well I'm sort of tired, and I dread quitting smoking. Not that I don't want to quit, I dread what I have to go through to quit. I will keep busy, Like cleaning my car, digging up the cacti from my yard, crocheting....sucking on commit lozenges. A friend of mine gave me a book yesterday entitled "Women who worry too much", to the point of generalized anxiety disorder. Yep, that's me. I realize that a lot of what upsets me is on me, and others view me as some sort of crazy person. I have a tendency to zone in on someone who is a slacker, a liar and just altogher annoying and fret myself to death over it. Plus I worry about other things to the point that I don't sleep well, my muscles are tense all the time, and I get headaches. I guess I'll keep the jounal and do the exercises the book suggests and see what happens. If worry and anxiety are interfering w/ my ability to enjoy life then I need to learn how to quit worrying about things that are stupid to worry about.

bryan

Poor Bryan!! He got 600ft up in the air and froze. He said he was screaming to get down and was bawling like a baby. they sent him home from St. Augustine via greyhound bus. He is so mortified. He really wanted to be able to do that job w/ what being unemployed and a baby on the way. Evan came to see me at work last night when my shift was over and we visited outside for a while. His girlfriend Michele was w/ him. Nice girl. My body aches all over. Once you hurt yourself and don't rest long enough it seems you hurt forever. I hope my sister is doing well at her new job. I think I may need a new one myself.

nursing

Nursing is not what it used to be. It is now about the amount of bodies in the building filling the nursing hours. Don't get sick, don't get hurt, no one cares. The first thing you hear is how horrible you are for screwing up the hours, and how they now have to find someone to fill your shift. Also we are now live on computer, and you have exactly 2hrs to complete your med pass or you are in the red. So if your patient needs more than 4min of your time you and him are screwed. Assessments and nursing judgements will be cast aside all for a two hour time constraint. And what about if they fall or need to go to the hospital? What?! We step over them and say, "Sorry buddy, can you wait until I complete my med pass? I wish I could find something else to do that makes as much money but isn't so stressful. But I don't think it is possible.

children

My middle child, the one who fought so hard, first against everything good, then fought to find his way, is leaving for a job that I never could imagine he would get. He is going to be way up in the air repairing cell phone towers, gone for two months at a time. His wife is pregnant and they are moving to Dade City, so I won't get to see the baby very often. sheila isn't going to be the type to let other people babysit. She'll be a good mother. Well here is to my son, may you do well in your new endevour, may God bless and protect you and keep you from harm. More about my other two later.

Life in general

I'm not quite sure how I got this template, or even how to change it more to my liking. I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go along. I'm off work today and I want to get a few things done around the house but yet I just want to relax. I'm having a difficult time turning off work. I do wound care and I had a 6 year chronic ulcer almost healed w/ medihoney w/ ca alginate. I had a physicians order, the patients family's permission, and corporate said I couldn't use it because it wasn't on their formulary and it wasn't covered by insurance. So I got $200 worth of samples first and then they still wanted it stopped. The dressing comes from dermasciences, we used other products of theirs. But we got a new formulary and we can only use what is on their formulary. Money is somehow involoved. So we switched to hydroferra blue and her wound looks terrible. Maybe I can use calcium alginate only, that's on their formulary. I am wound care certified, I am positive my wound bed is clean, we have granulation tissue present in the wound bed, we just need the right dressing. Which I had until corporate stopped that.